How Conversations Become Secret Weapons for Writing

“Nia, when are you going to share your writing for our blog?” one of my colleagues asked.

“Give me a moment. I need to find some inspiration first,” I replied.

Sometimes, I just cannot get started on a writing assignment, and it can take me weeks, especially when the deadline is not pressing. This usually happens when the topic feels unfamiliar or is something I have never experienced firsthand.

Once, I had to write about how to take effective meeting minutes, which you might recall from a previous post. The topic seemed straightforward, but the problem was, I had no personal experience with it.

I combed through countless articles online, looking for a fresh angle. But everything I found felt dry and uninspiring, just information without any real story behind it. Honestly, I did not want to write something you could easily find elsewhere. I wanted to offer something more meaningful, grounded in real experiences rather than just theory.

So, I turned to a way that always breathes life into my writing and makes it truly authentic: conversations.

Talking to someone is more than just exchanging words. It often sparks fresh ideas, sometimes from a passing comment or a story shared over coffee. It could be a casual chat with a friend, a discussion with a colleague, or even a heart-to-heart with someone close.

To gain some insights, conversations need to go beyond surface-level small talk. For that to happen, the person you’re talking to must feel comfortable and safe enough to open up.

So, how do I create that space?

Be Fully Present

I always ditch my phone the moment a conversation starts. Nothing kills a connection faster than a distracted listener. Hrishikesh Hirway, a musician and a podcast host, once compared multitasking in conversation to trying to listen to one song while singing another in your head: it is impossible to do well.

I have been on the other side, too, talking while my friend’s eyes were glued to their screen. It made me feel invisible, and it made me reluctant to share more.

However, I still get zoning out sometimes, especially if the story meanders or gets too detailed. When that happens, I gently nudge myself back to the moment, reminding myself that the person’s story is the bridge to insight.

Reflect Back on What I Hear

I once had the experience of being interviewed by a reporter when I was a coordinator at a writing community in Bandung. The reporter just moved from one question to the next without reflecting back on my answers. It made me wonder whether they understood what I was saying or if they were just trying to complete a checklist of questions.

So, when someone shares their stories, I like to echo back what I have understood. It shows I am listening and gives them a chance to clarify or dig deeper.

I also try to keep my judgment. Even if their views clash with mine, I avoid labeling right or wrong. Instead, I might ask, “Have you ever had a conflict because of that? How did you handle it? How can you still uphold that idea?” This encourages a richer, more honest exchange.

Moreover, I am mindful not to steer the conversation toward my own stories. Taking the spotlight away from them can disrupt the flow and leave them feeling unheard. (I know how frustrating that feels, too!)

Read Between the Lines

My background in psychology makes me more attuned to non-verbal cues, like subtle gestures, pauses, and changes in posture. I maintain eye contact, keep my body open like avoiding crossed arms, and watch for signs that they are uncomfortable or ready to change the subject. When someone leans back or looks away, I know it is time to stop or steer the chat gently elsewhere.

I remember a job interview where the interviewer slouched. That moment stuck with me until now, not just because it was uncomfortable, but because it reminded me how much the way we listen affects others.

Being a good listener is not something that comes naturally all the time. It is a muscle I keep training. But every time I get it right, conversations become richer, and the insights I gather become the fuel that ignites my writing.

So, the next time you are stuck with your writing, maybe all you need is a genuine conversation. You never know where it might lead.

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Nia Janiar

Lead Writer at B/NDL Studios. With over a decade of writing experience, she crafts everything from annual reports and social media posts to personal essays.